Goodbye and Good Luck

As I suspected, no one responded. So Goodbye to one and all.

The Master

This Blog May Close Soon

I’ve been posting to this blog for about six months. To date, the numbers of daily readers sucks. Doesn’t look like anybody cares about this kind of information to help men be great lovers.

So, I need to hear from you. If I don’t hear from a bunch of folks about this blog, it will close forever on Friday.

Great Lovers and Back Pain

Today, I’m suffering from low back pain. I can’t find a comfortable way to either sit, stand or lie down. Sleep was brutal last night. I took aspirin this morning and it didn’t touch the pain. In this much pain, sex would be out of the question.

As soon as my hoodie and pants finish drying in the dryer, I’m heading to the chiropractor.

So, I guess today’s posting is a commercial for chiropractic medical care.

For those of you not familiar with chiropractic medicine, it is all about spinal alignment. When your spine is not in proper alignment, the brain impulses through nerves flowing from your brain to your various body parts are interrupted. Returning your spine to proper alignment restores health.

My grandfather was a Chiropractor. I have never known a time…even as a young child…that I was not under chiropractic care. When I was an athlete in high school, a chiropractor kept me off the operating table twice for knee injuries.

Lots of people…probably everyone…occasionally suffers from back aches. The aches and pains can be muscular, but many times they are structural. If you go to your regular doctor, you will get treatment for the SYMPTOMS, which means hot compresses, heating pads, muscle relaxers and prescription pain medicine. But none of that treats the underlying CAUSE of your pain.

Chiropractic treats the CAUSE and effects a CURE.

Your regular doctor will likely say bad things about chiropractic. And, just like in traditional medicine, there are bad chiropractors. But chiropractic treatment can be very beneficial for you.

If you don’t know how to find a good chiropractor, ask friends and family. Then, get a chiropractic evaluation. You’ll be glad you did.

Dating During Divorce: What Are The Rules?

Lots of divorces get filed in January each year. The unhappy couples tough it out during the holidays, just so they (a) aren’t alone, or (b) don’t have to put up with all of the drama from friends and family. But, now that you have filed for divorce, what are the rules for dating?

The Master’s Rule Number One: You shouldn’t date ANYONE during the divorce. You are still technically and lawfully married, and if you are dating, that’s technically cheating on your spouse. Grow up. You can wait until the divorce is final.

Rule #2: You are one big raw nerve right now. It is entirely unfair of you to bring your drama into the life of another person. Dating another person during your divorce proceedings is 100% selfish on your part. It also shows the person you would like to be dating (or ARE dating) that you would do the same to her if she got involved with you.

Rule #3. Divorces are power games, and usually the person with the best lawyer wins. If you are dating during your divorce, the other side will find out easily. That puts a black mark on your chart. Don’t load the gun, so to speak, and place that infidelity gun in the other attorney’s hands. It could cost you more in alimony and child support…thousands more.

Rule #4: Your mind and heart need time to heal. You need to reestablish your personal identity, and wring all of the old bitterness out of yourself. My personal opinion is that you should not date anyone for at least one year after the divorce is final, and you should wait at least two years before considering marriage again.

Rule #5: Are you a parent getting a divorce? Your divorce is screwing up your children’s lives enough already. Spare them the heartache of your parade of new women…new “mommies”…through their lives. Also, NEVER have a woman stay the night in your home if you have children in your home. You figure out why.

Rule #6: If you are dating a lady during your divorce, that means that your chosen honey has no moral qualms about dating a married man. That also means that she’d do it again even if she was in a relationship with you. Is that the quality of woman you are seeking?

As I said in Number One: Grow up. You are supposed to be able to exhibit some self control at this point in your life. Placing your own needs on hold for a few months can pay benefits to you long-term, as well as shield you from ethical fall-out during your divorce proceedings. Don’t be a moron, only driven by your sexual desires. Be a man and do the right thing.

Orgasm Definitions

Standing in the shower this morning, reflecting on last night’s marathon boinkfest, I thought about the word “orgasm.” Then, I started thinking about word games.

Here we go. Some letters don’t work.

Boregasm: getting off while bored. Your lady is lying on her back, staring at the ceiling while you’re giving it to her and she says, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the room beige.”

Contractorgasm: Sex with a builder.

Corpsgasm: sex with a Marine.

Corridorgasm: Sex up against the wall in the hallway.

Choregasm: Having sex because you think you should, not ‘cause you want to.

Diorgasm: Pulling up her pretty designer dress and porking her.

Eeyoregasm: Sex when you’re depressed and moping around like Eeyore the stuffed donkey in the Winnie the Pooh books.

Foregasm: Sex while playing golf.

Floorgasm: Sex on the floor.

Goregasm: What Al and Tipper have.

Hoargasm: Sex in a frosty morning field. (It’s called hoarfrost, guys.)

Igorgasm: Sex with Marty Feldman’s character in “Young Frankenstein.”

Litigatorgasm: Fucking a lawyer.

Moregasm: What you hope your partner is thinking while you’re doing her.

Norgasm: When neither you nor she get off.

Oargasm: Sex in a canoe.

Oregasm: Sex in a mineshaft.

Poorgasm: An inferior quality orgasm. I’m not sure that exists.

Poregasm: In the south, if it’s beyond poor, it’s PORE.

Roargasm: Make her get down on all fours and act like a lion.

Realtorgasm: Getting laid in a house that’s being sold by a realtor during an open house.

Shoregasm: Sex on the beach.

S’moregasm: Putting chocolate and marshmallow on your lady’s fun parts and licking it off. Forget the graham cracker.

Snoregasm: Getting head while sleeping.

Soargasm: A reach-around in a two person glider. Both of you are holding a control rod.

Storegasm: Banging your partner in the Walmart bathroom.

Toregasm: Being so big that you make her bleed.

Torreadorgasm: Sex with a bullfighter.

Victorgasm: Sex with a guy named Victor.

Wargasm: Sex while in combat. Gives the term “foxhole” a whole new meaning.

Whoregasm: When you’re so good the hooker gets off.

Yourgasm: The one YOU have.

Zorrogasm: Sex with Zorro. Weak, but I couldn’t think of a Z word. Sue me.

Clever men can be Great Lovers.

Today is Valentine’s Day

I’ve spent the last 18 days giving you ideas for Valentine’s Day, so this message will be a short one.

No matter how commercial and hokey the business world makes this day, you can make it a day where you and your lady become much more close and intimate.

Sure…go ahead and do all the things you can think of. But I’m telling you…the most important thing you can do for your lady today is to just LOVE HER. And that means that you become transparent, open and honest with her. Chicks love deep intimate conversation. Give her THAT as your number one gift today.

I just finished reading a book that talked about human beings as conscious beings. It is not that we are a body with consciousness, but we are a consciousness housed in a body. That is your spirit or soul. The book said that the best way to develop a higher quality of consciousness is to lose your ego and practice love.

Ego gets us men into all manner of trouble. Most wars are fought over men’s egos. Haven’t you heard our Presidents say that to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan now would be wrong, since our boys would have “died in vain?” That is 100% pure ego talking, not common sense or love.

Most of the trouble in our personal relationships is because we let our ego make decisions for us instead of leading with love. If you work hard to become a man who is loving toward EVERYONE, you will be a man who is much easier to love.

A man who organizes his life around love for all creation is the only kind of man that can be a GREAT LOVER.

Valentine’s Day Plus 1

Guys, today we’re only 1 day out from Valentine’s Day. Today should be all about preparation for tomorrow. It’s cool that today’s prep day is Saturday, and that Valentine’s Day is on a Sunday. Gives you all the time you need to get ready.

I hope you’re not one of those guys who waits until the very last minute to dash out and buy roses, chocolate and a lame card. That doesn’t show much effort or preparation. Part of the fun…and part of the message you’re supposed to be sending…is that she’s WORTH the planning and effort to show her you love her.

So, think this through:

Have you made reservations at a restaurant? Don’t tell me you’re just going to Wendy’s. If that is all you could afford, and you did it together, and she was OK with it, that would be great. But if you’re only putting in a “Wendy’s” effort when you could do more, YOU might end up a Single instead of a Double…if you get my meaning.

Got flowers? The kind she likes best? Sometimes one rose is better than a dozen.

Got chocolate? A Valentine’s Day without chocolate is unthinkable.

Got the right card? Instead of picking over the cards at the drug store or supermarket, why don’t you try going to a small gift shop or an unusual store? They will likely carry an unusual selection of cards and your choice will tell her she’s worth your efforts.

Now, go further.

How about your looks? Get a haircut today and look good for her. If you have facial hair, trim it also.

There. Now you are ready for tomorrow. Be a Great Lover tomorrow.

Valentine’s Day Plus 2

Guys, today we’re only 2 days out from Valentine’s Day. Have you been showing your lady how much you love her? Here is a good idea for today.

Today’s idea is about body maintenance and girly stuff.

Go to Bed, Bath and Beyond, or your favorite department store, and buy her one of those baskets of soaps, lotions and bath stuff. If she has a favorite manufacturer, like Lancome or Estee Lauder, be smart enough to notice that and buy that stuff.

Then, after presenting the stuff to her, recommend that she take a long, hot bubble bath. Offer to shave her legs for her while she’s in the bath. There is a chance that both of you will experience some sexual arousal while you’re shaving her legs. There’s no question that you’ll get a boner…but you also might get lucky.

Doing this kind of activity with you lady helps you become a Great Lover.

Valentine’s Day Plus 3

Guys, today we’re only 3 days out from Valentine’s Day. Have you been showing your lady how much you love her? Here is a good idea for today.

Today’s idea has to do with your flair for the artistic. Got Art?

You probably don’t have a really high quality photo of you and your lady together. So put her in the car and run to your local portrait studio…even if it’s the place in the mall where parents take their babies for their photos. Dress casually. But get new photos of the two of you together. But also get individual photos done…kind of like close headshots.

Then, between Valentine’s Day and the next big event…like her birthday or your anniversary…take the headshots to a portrait specialist. That’s the kind of person who does pencil or oil paintings. You’re looking for a pencil drawing. Have the artist combine the headshots into one portrait of the two of you together. Shouldn’t cost more than a couple hundred dollars or less. Have it matted and framed by a professional shop, and present it to her at the big event.

I did this for my wife’s birthday in 1999, which was four days before our wedding. Went over very big. The portrait still sits on our mantle. She brags on that portrait every time we have a guest at the house.

This is the kind of creativity that will make you a Great Lover.

Valentine’s Day Plus 4

Guys, today we’re only 4 days out from Valentine’s Day. Have you been showing your lady how much you love her? Here is a good idea for today.

Today’s idea has to do with your lady’s sweet tooth.

I went to the post office today, and on my way home, I stopped at the supermarket and picked up a pint of premium Chocolate Mint Chip ice cream for my wife. When she arrived home, I sat her down on the couch and asked her to close her eyes. When she opened her eyes, I presented her with the pint, a spoon, and a napkin.

And I did this with no expectation of any favor returned. You should do the same.

Surely, you know your lady’s favorite ice cream flavor, don’t you? Get her a pint of it today. Make a big deal out of the presentation.

Guys who take note of their lady’s small details can be Great Lovers.